If Barney don't kill you Mr Rogers will

I was told the other night that Mr Rogers was a tattooed super sniper during Vietnam. He supposedly killed a person from 1500 meters. So being the kind of person to believe everything I’m told (as long as it comes from the voices in my head). I did some research (aka. I googled it). I discovered after a long and laborious fact finding mission (I pushed the search button and clicked the first link that poped up) that Mr (The 1500 meter Killer) Rogers wasn’t anything more than stupid goofy asshole. He didn’t kill people. Nor did he have any tattoos. He also can not melt steel with his laser vision, lift a truck with one hand, or create a living undead with his mind. No, Mr Rogers could not do anything special. All he managed to do was piss me off. Why the hell did the SOB change shoes all the damn time. Couldn’t he find a pair that he liked? What kind of a rat bastard changes their shoes that much? That is not a normal behavior for a 50 year old man. It wasn’t when I was a kid and it still isn’t today. I think I would be a lot more of a balanced person if King Friday had pick his scrawny ass up and body slammed him a few times. And how the hell did he get his ass on that damn trolley?