The Stranglet of Destruction

I was watching a show called End Day on the National Geographic channel last night. (Please note the cool name drop). Anyway, this show was perfect for me because it was about big ass disasters that might happen, ending with one that destroyed the world. Of course the special effects were lacking but the ideas presented gave me a warm feeling. The big as wave crashing into New York ruled. I kept thinking about how many worthless people would be gone after that happened. Another one was a small meteoroid crashing into Berlin. Again the destruction would be glorious. But the last one was by far the best. These scientist used this big particle accelerator and end up creating a stranglet. This would be the coolest thing ever. Basically it just eats everything on the earth. So all the useless people would be gone. Yes I know I would be eaten too but that’s a price I’m willing to pay to be rid of the asses that drive around with the handicap stickers on their cars. These people can not drive. They weren’t able to drive before they got the damn sticker and it’s a proven fact that your driving gets 1763% worse when you put one of these stickers on your car. Now I know what you’re saying. Do Eskimos wear shoes in the summer time? HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW???? A few bleeding hearts might be saying. Now not all Eskimos go without shoes and they might be right. They are also saying not all people that are handy cap are bad drivers. Again they might be right but if you will notice the people with the stickers are not really handicap. They are old and/or fat slobs with no jobs. These are the same asses that get the little scooters in Wal-Mart and drive around blocking entire isles with the fat ass scooter. And while they do need all the practice at driving they can get, why the hell do they have to do it while I’m in the store? I don’t like Wal-Mart anyway and I sure as hell don’t need some jackass parking a big ass power chair scooter thing in my way cause they are to lazy to walk their fat asses into the store to get their weeks supply of depends and milk. I sware to god I that one guy parked his scooter .. blocked an entrie isle .. got up .. walked 20 feet as well as anyone in the store .. look at vegtables for a good 5 minutes and then walked back and sat his fat ass back down. I hope he got home and found that his dog had been run over, is wife had run off with her best friend cause she is now a lesbian and his daughter was knocked up by the mailman.

Another befit of a stranglet would it would also get rid of air and water pollution. Which nobody has really though of. And what about ridding the world of Tom Cruise and Carrot Top? I think people should put some real money into the development of a stranglet. I know if I had a particle accelerator I would be trying to make one.