How I Lost Dr Seuss

One fine day, while I was sitting on my couch. Without a care in the world because I’m slouch.

A woman appeared on my blabavision screen. She seemed well dress. Not dirty but clean.

But as she spoke, her words began to smell, like raw oysters or some demon from hell.

She screeched and she nagged in voice most unpleasant telling me to buy someone a gift or a present.

And what was this gift that she said I should buy? Why a ring of course, please don’t ask why.

The ring that she sold was not made of sliver or of gold but rubber or chemicals, if truth be told.

How boldly she spoke like, a little drunk who or maybe a bum that had a hole in his shoe.

Her mouth moved, again and again, till all I could think was that I wanted some gin.

“What was this ring for?” you may ask. Why for birth control. Yes of course, that was its task.

She ranted and raved, all the time in rhymes. It seemed to go on forever. In fact it did, I checked it 3 times. Once the hell was over I sat in a slump not wanting to move let alone jump.

The woman had use Dr Seuss to sell birth control on that day. The thought still makes me want scream, and run the hell away.

But the sad truth is the commercial worked well. When I watch the Grinch now, all I can do is think of that hell. Yes I remember the day. Yes I remember the smell. And by chance I see a cat in a hat my mind wonders and I picture that, and I picture my self and where it was that I sat.

I cry most nights now when I think of day. Because of all the things she could have stolen that rhyming bitch, took my Dr Seuss away.